i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
His nipple licking is glorious
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