Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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