: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
