I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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