TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
