Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
