he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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