i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
