upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
