Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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