You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
