I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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