I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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