Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
