I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
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I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
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Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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