I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
