I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
