I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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