im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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