last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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