just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
