When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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