carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Drunk is not a location!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
