No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
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He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
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CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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