Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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