been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
