Having a random hookup so left but love u
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
