So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
