The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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