Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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