I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i've created a new STD.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
