Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
