She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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