You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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