I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
