I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
why didn't you poke me back
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
