Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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