im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When are your genitals available?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
