She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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