if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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