That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
