on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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