Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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