When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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