My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
