Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
