Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you told grandpa to call you daddy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
