her vagine was all disorganized.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
