First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize