oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
