we have officially lost it.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
