Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.

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(610): Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it. http://tfl.nu/867y

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(601): View more from Mississippi

i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"

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(601): i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?" http://tfl.nu/96xf

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(720): View more from Colorado

the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.

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(720): the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom. http://tfl.nu/h1iv

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(408): View more from California

and pubic hair rears its ugly head again

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(408): and pubic hair rears its ugly head again http://tfl.nu/ouhf

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(214): View more from Texas

someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet

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(214): someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet http://tfl.nu/kl5a

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(480): View more from Arizona

i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend

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(480): i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ecxc

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?

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(250): You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you? http://tfl.nu/8g3a

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(713): View more from Texas

Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.

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(713): Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day. http://tfl.nu/o38r

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(619): View more from California

By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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(619): By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time. http://tfl.nu/je0g

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(207): View more from Maine

Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?

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(207): Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this? http://tfl.nu/g5cp

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.

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(484): judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog. http://tfl.nu/kq70

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(734): View more from Michigan

It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."

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(734): It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE." http://tfl.nu/k46u

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.

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(704): She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason. http://tfl.nu/coul

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(631): View more from New York

She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it

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(631): She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it http://tfl.nu/e6sn

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(585): View more from New York

shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry

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(585): shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry http://tfl.nu/7vhr

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