So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.