sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
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you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She bit a glass in half.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
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Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.