You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake