Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!