Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
