I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize