Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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