didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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