I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
