You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize