Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize