So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
