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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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